It’s funny how I’m here really happy after I promised I was going to vent about an older female colleague that attempted to annoy me. *sigh*
Well, Never underestimate the power of chocolates especially when it’s from a soon to be favourite person. (A box of ‘Godiva’ for me at work. Whoop! Whoop!! )
So this is it, before my first day @ work, Mum and I had shared lots of stories, talks, planned and impromptu chats about the working environment and she had given me a rundown (which felt like one of those long talks in camp, except I dint have to sit under a tree to listen) of all the kinds of characters I’ll be meeting and working with. She kept emphasising on when to be calm and when I can be defensive (If you don’t know by now, sarcasm is just my little defence tool…don’t judge me jor.. its much easier than handling the boxing gloves) … I remember I was really not interested because I imagined everyone ought to at least be reasonable. Why would anyone even decide to be mean when you’re all smiles and very efficient 😉 that was my thought until I met this female colleague.
Our incident reminded me of a tweet I saw on my time line that read: if females were presidents of their countries there won’t be any war, just a bunch of countries not talking to each other. I also imagined how if I had encouraged the ‘hater’, we would probably have formed little groups and stay finding ways to show whose is ‘techer’ (If you know what I mean).
As vain as this seemed to me, it is totally spot on. Have you noticed how ladies just love to form little gossip groups (even though sometimes it’s not really for that purpose) but then what is a girl group if there is no juicy gist? Sounds like fun right? Wait until you are the one left out :p
Ladies, females, girls, women… (Which ever fits) will totally savour any chance they/we get to flaunt their/our ego and put on a show when in control, throwing caution to the wind and forgetting nothing lasts for ever. Its worse when its directed at another female (God help you if you are the younger one like in my case *sigh*). But really, what is more nauseating is when you decide to flex your muscles for no existing reason at someone who hasn’t even picked the first stone. That to me is just insecurity and lack of confidence. Men can also relate, you know how people say when you have to keep yelling ‘I’m the man in this house’, chances are you aren’t.
Well, it didn’t take long to meet this female specie who in my opinion has a complex. It was our first time talking but we had passed each other @ some point in the premises, seen @ the staff canteen and I had always admired her shoes (thinking of it now, I’m like why bother). I stepped into her office and noticed how her face transformed into a stern look. I quickly adjusted my cheery self and prepared for what I wasn’t certain about. (Just so you know, I like to think for people).
She confirmed my doubts. Dear colleague didn’t waste time to speak to me in the most repelling manner after I had disclosed my mission. Her attitude screamed HATER! displayed arrogance, hostility, conceit. I just stood there in awe, the little voices in my head started to taunt me, I was vulnerable at that point, I was the junior colleague…
….and the voices got louder:
A: Is this you? how can you watch her talk to you this way
B: Just cut her short and show you can speak English too jare
C: Chai! Faith you don fall my hand
Okay! I tried to console myself. At least it was just the two of us in the office, no one was watching and I silently prayed no one came in to meet her in that temper.
D: Who told you, she will tell her friends later today how she finished you
And then Mum’s soft voice: Don’t be offended mum (yea! Mum! That’s what my mum calls me). Just let it go.
I totally noticed as she scanned my face for some kind of reaction or maybe rude words in self-defence.
Yes! I was going to disappoint her. While she was at it, I decided to make me a slide show with the sound track as Mike Posner’s cooler than me. I had my inner camera taking pictures of how she looked @ every nasty word and I was giggling as I added a caption to each picture….by the time I came out of my little fantasy, she was done talking and I nicely said ‘noted’ and strode out of her office.
You know how annoying it is to get a reply that reads ‘seen’ after sending a long text, that was what I hoped to accomplish with my reply, I totally wished it got to her because that would mean triumph in my own harmless world. :’(
As I left her office I thought about sharing the incident with a few people but I talked myself out of it as that would give room for more gossip groups and moreover with the level of pretence going on these days, it will just make you a spotlight for people to ‘yimu’/ ‘osu imi’ at when you are not watching.
Before I climbed the flight of stairs back to my office, I had already forgotten the issue (thanks to the very lovely people I work with).
Two days later, my office extension rang. Oh no! Not again…it was dear colleague and I was really having a good day, didn’t want it anyway else. I picked and dryly said Hi, Good morning not exactly smiling or frowning.
Huh! This was dear colleague chatting happily and asking we have lunch together at noon. That went well, I must have done something right, maybe it’s because I didn’t do the girl thing and talk back at her, or because she could not get an alibi to hate on me, or…… Whatever jor my day just got better…the bossy colleague called and wanted me to have lunch on her bill. At lunch, she didn’t apologize directly (girls and ego eehn), tried to avoid the incident but she was totally friendly, added me on her bbm.
I tried to imagine what was going on in that head of hers but since she realized she was wrong….I got the victory I wanted.
I’ve always said you can break that very uptight person that everyone sees as a monster; you only need to plan your own strategy. Funny thing is such people always have very few friends and are very confrontational. Most times, they really like something about you but since they don’t have your quality it tends to en rage them.
From my experience, never fight back verbally. It would surprise you how close they will cling when you finally become friends.
In all, dear colleague wants to join my (gossip) gist group as she always has something new to talk about. I like my space and love to decide who I can be friends with, there’s no connection yet with dear colleague so for now I just enjoy free (gossip) gist.
Being numb to confrontational people doesn’t make you weak, it sometimes mean you are wise enough to forestall arguments or fights that may occur.
The silent treatment is actually very loud.
Love, Peace and Cupcakes