In this part of the world, people are quick to point fingers, they want you to talk a certain way, live a certain way, expect you to have attained this and that at a certain age……endless list (feel free to insert your’s).
You wonder how you are able to manage each day without actually taking a piss. You know what, let’s put that on the list as well because as a young adult who has had basic education, you are ‘expected’ to constantly ‘wave and smile’ and avoid any cause for friction (even when you are not in the mood for random conversations about how you are expected to live your life and all you really want to do is to tell the person off).
Our reality is…we will always come across these set of people. They are everywhere you find yourself church, workplace, family, friends, banking hall, malls, no place is excluded. If an unsolicited opinion is said with tact, we can have a nice conversation. it might even get to – Oh!!! please give me your number too so i can always call for your lovely opinion about what colour of eyeshadow fits my outfit of the day (please tell me you got the sarcasm in there). But no, some people have no tact whatsoever and it is really tasking handling these kind with ‘a wave and a smile’. A poker face should suffice though.
Basically, I believe there are two reasons for this kind of behaviour from people.
• They have made a mistake in the past and do not want the same mistake for you.
……or maybe they have done it right in the past and want what is right for you.
If this is sincerely the reason why you are being pressured into making a decision, by all means savour the opportunity of having a ‘guardian angel’ watch your back. Accept the corrections and do it right. This does NOT MEAN loose yourself and be totally dependent on someone’s idea. Since you will be responsible for the results you get at the tail end, it is better you are actively involved in a process to avoid blame games if you are not happy with the outcome.
• They are just natural instigators.
I like to call them pressure pushers. They are the very troublesome ones who just want to be all up in your business ‘by force’. If they are family then you know the pressure just got real. There is no hiding from them because they have direct access to you at anytime. This situation is really difficult to handle and you will require a certain amount of tenacity and/or discretion to avoid making a decision for the wrong reasons.
I’ll share a few steps on how i handle situations without being pressured.
1. Accept that there is actually a problem which needs to be solved or decision that has to be made. When you come to terms with the challenges you have, it is easier to handle your emotions when you are faced with pressure from character 1 or character 2.
2. Keep a clear mind. Determine not to be weary. If you have ever gotten repeated unsolicited comments or pushed towards making a decision when you are not ready, you already know first hand how exhausting it is. Your happiness is paramount here and you can only be really happy from within. Love yourself totally flaws and all. Speak positively. A hitch in the way does not mean you will be stuck in a situation forever. You need a clear mindset to actually plan. This is the perfect time to speak to God for direction.
3. Consider your options. Are you ready for the big decision? Do you want it now or much later? What resources will be required? Who do you need to talk to?
4. Set your own rules. Make a decision and be responsible for it. If it is not time to implement, at least you know what you want and what is involved. Oh!! ….and please inform whoever is involved. Tell character 1 or 2 so that they are aware you have a plan (and the pressure might reduce).
5. Implement when it is time.
6. Know your limit. Be your biggest critic. Laugh at yourself freely.
As much as we try to avoid it, there will always be people who will want to shove opinions down on us. These steps will help you manage the situation while being accountable for what you finally choose to do.
Are you presently being pressured to do something, how are you handling it?
Lead a Happy Life.???
Love, Peace and Cupcakes