WordSearchSeries #11: Amity + Parents, Kids & Finance

Hi hi

Hump day means #WordSearchSeries and #WonderWednessday on #phayteaspulse.

Here’s how i found the word for this week.

The other day while waiting at the reception area of a company i had an appointment in, I decided to go through a newspaper just to wile away time instead of scrolling through my phone.

I had not read a newspaper in a really long time so that was a good opportunity to do so again. Every news is online so it’s amazing how the good ol’ newspaper seems irreplaceable. 

I know people who cannot have coffee every morning without going through the dailies.

Honestly, i was only checking out the editorial cartoon and soft news when I found a word I thought to share on #WordSearchSeries. The word is Amity.

New word

Amity means friendly relations.

For example, The new law will bring greater Amity between our state and the neighbouring states.

Synonyms include – harmony, cooperation, Peace, friendliness.

Have you used this word before?

If your answer is no, Amity can now be added to your vocabulary and you can alternate with the synonyms mentioned.

For #WonderWednessday, we are talking parents, finance and kids so I’m wondering….

Should kids know what items dad or mum pays for?

I was listening to the radio some days ago while heading home from work, a family show was on and several people called in to give their opinion on the question above.

In Nigeria and perhaps some places around the world, the father tends to provide most of the basic needs, bills, school fees except of course the man isn’t working or the lady earns more money than the man (which is another big topic that causes a lot of drama in relationships). 

The mother assists as well but as people like to say ‘the woman’s money is her money while the man’s money is the couples money’.

Now, whichever way the couple decides to share responsibilities amongst themselves is fine. 

The issue is, should the kids know only daddy pays for the school fees or bought the car while mummy buys groceries or clothing.

Some people can be very carefree as o  know women who will tell their kids ‘Go ask your dad’ when they request for something and men who tell their kids ‘Go meet your mum’ when the request a meal.

There might be no conscious intention to divide roles but I think this act has become rampant and kids now grow up with the notion that ‘dad provides money’ while ‘mum provides food’.

I also know families that make sure they do not openly pick roles or suggest roles in the presence of their kids.

I mean, kids are observant and will naturally tend to know who performs better at particular roles but should the kids know that dad has more money than mum or vice versa.

I’m wondering, should parents avoid role picking completely in front of their kids?

Share your thoughts Lovelies

Are there better ways to suggest to kids what role mum or dad should do?

Is it fine to let kids know who pays for what?

If you have kids, do share your experience if you have had this discussion.

I’ll love to read from you

Love, Peace and Cupcakes


Pictures| pixabay



  • Neha

    Totally True, though its’ not necessary to get into the definite roles, but as people work accordingly in the relations, this happens to almost all the people.

  • Eve j

    I think it would be better if children knew that mum and dad do things together, that it is a collective effort.

  • abhinavuniyal

    I agree with Eve, no work is tasked upon or categorized in modern day living and usually, both parents go to work. The messaging to the kids should be salient as it stays with them for most of their lives.
    Interesting series on the word search, all the best.

  • Nicole

    Both of my parents worked and I never once heard them say comments such as these. All of the money was equally each others. My husband and I do not have children yet but we have the same process going. We put all the money in one account and all of the expenses are paid out of that. We were taught in pre-marriage counseling that you should come to an agreement that if a purchase is made over a certain dollar amount you should discuss with your partner first. We have stuck to this and it has eliminated fights over money!

  • PrachiJ

    This was an excellent read! 🙂
    In today’s world, where we have come a long way in terms of modernisation, inequality is still an issue, in some form or the other The world needs to understand that “Equality starts at home”. One cannot expect to change the world without changing themselves first.

  • pacificbella

    I really think parents should not compete about who’s doing better than who… As a child, I do believe that my mom and dad has equal roles and they do it equally well. thanks for this post! 😀 learned something valuable again!

  • Fahad Sulehria

    You’ve highlighted a great topic: how money is handled in a relationship. A very good read. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  • haleandharlow

    What an interesting topic! I don’t feel like parents should try to one-up one another, especially with finances. And children will probably learn who actually pays for what eventually. Growing up, my mom did the grocery shopping and took my sister and I clothes/fun shopping. My dad was always the one with the bills. Whatever works for the parents, is okay with me. But don’t make it a competition.

  • Kaleigh

    My dad worked and my mom was a stay-at-home parent for myself and siblings. We always knew dad was working, but that never shaped how I saw my role as an adult. My parents did what they could and that’s what worked best for them at the time! My boyfriend (future husband and baby daddy) is a firefighter and I hope to get my masters and do speech therapy. So if all goes as planned, we will both have the freedom to parent AND work equal amounts. But I think this had more to do with HOW my parents raised me as opposed to my knowledge of what their roles were as I was growing up! They pounded into my head the value of being financially independent, so seeing their roles as a child didn’t make a difference in how I saw myself or my future. I don’t know – very interesting topic though!

    • Phaytea's Pulse

      That’s good to know. It’s important that parents have these kind of conversation with kids so they don’t end up making assumptions… Thank you for the contribution Kaleigh

  • Perla

    It’s an interesting question that requires a more detailed response, perhaps a whole article on that. Kids will look for roles model first in their parents, then in people they admire.

  • Anastasia Nicole

    This is a very interesting question. I was raised where my dad constantly said he paid for everything and it wasn’t done in a way that honored my mother’s contributions to the family. I think teaching kids that all relationships should be equal partnerships without going into who pays for what is best.

  • Victoria Lola

    That’s why they’re called a couple….they work together…

    When I was little, I used to meet my dad for money and he’d give me, and sometimes ask me to meet my mum; my mum would give me money and let me know it was dad that gave me….when I tried to argue; she’d tell me that her money isn’t hers but my dad’s…..I’m not trying to explain that my mum always gave my dad her money nor did she have the mindset that my dad owned her money; I hope you get where I’m driving at; that was done so as not to create a particular impression or notion

    I don’t see why children should know and why one should be responsible for one thing and the other, another. I mean, why should there be division?
    I use that new word but not very often; I should use it more often. Thank you, Phaytea…..interesting post! Xx

    • Phaytea's Pulse

      hi hi…I understand what you mean and that’s how it should be. I am of the opinion that children should not have the impression that just mum or dad provides money at home. It’s even worse if the parents do not try to explain to the kids at all. They grow up with the wrong assumption and it affects their behavior when they settle down too. Thank you for contributing dear. Have a lovely day 🙂

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