What is the first thing February reminds you of?
There are a lot of things that can be easily characterised with the month of February. The colour red, the birth of new relationships, surprise proposals, romantic getaway, flowers, chocolates, gifts, break ups, Reaffirmation of Love and definitely rants about having a partner or the lack of one (which seems to be the most talked about).
You probably already know that the most acknowledged celebration in February is ‘Valentine’s Day’. Sadly, it is not a holiday, unless you decide to make it one in a bid to celebrate love. Since Love is usually in the air at this time, let us make that the focus in this article just so that we do not join the bandwagon and talk about love without being guided.
Love means different things to different people but one language love understands is Care (for yourself and then for your partner.) Love is beautiful if done right, by and with the right person. I love love and will like to share a few things we should remember:
YOU CANNOT GIVE LOVE IF YOU DO NOT HAVE LOVE (SELF-LOVE).
The need to practice self-love cannot be over-emphasized. We probably need to talk about it repeatedly because truly, one might lose him/herself while ‘in love’ and that is where the mistakes begins.
If you have no idea what love is or no inkling on how to Love yourself (flaws and all), there is no way you can give an ample amount of love and not feel burdened.
For instance, if you do not like to eat garlic but you eat it anyways just because your partner likes it, you will always get overwhelmed. Trying to please your partner at the expense of your happiness will only drain you and limit your ability to love completely.
Practising self-love simply means having regard for your well-being and happiness. This means that loving yourself should not finding happiness only because of another person.
You must love yourself, love your choices, have your individual interest, and goals, make a life for yourself and find yourself. Only then can you genuinely give love without losing yourself.
Read previous post about Self-love and Acceptance for more insight.
LOVE IS NEVER ONE SIDED (ATTENTION).
For lack of a better description, permit me to say that Love is so Lovely that we only want to keep giving and giving without expecting a reciprocation.
Why I am with the school of thought that encourages us to Love selflessly, I strongly disagree with the one that suggests closing our eyes to signs that suggests we are settling in love.
There is no perfect man or woman and this means we may have to accept a person’s flaws. You know, the usual ‘Love me for who I am’ line but this does not mean we should be blind when we are being under appreciated.
Communicate how you want to be loved, talk about how you want to feel with your partner. Be attentive to each others emotional, spiritual and Intellectual needs.
Giving love continuously without receiving can be draining especially when you know you deserve better.
LOVE CAN BE PLATONIC
Over the years, I have learnt that life is really about meaningful relationships. Some meaningful relationships lead to life long commitments like marriage while you maintain some relationships because they have proven to be as loyal as family.
Love should never be categorised for just couples or married individuals alone. Love is much more that a few kisses, or private time together or gifts. It is really in the little things so Love your family and show it, Love your friends and prove it, Love the less privileged ones and actually mean it.
This is also a wake up call to anyone who feels like Valentine’s Day will be bland because there is no man or woman to have a candle lit dinner with. Just remember that your meaningful relationships with family and friends are as important as the one you have with a single partner. If you lack one, you should not lack the other and if you have both, cherish it.
The next time you plan to say love sucks, remember you are your first love (treat yourself to a good time), remember you have friend that think you are the life of the party (call them up) and finally remember you have a family that adores (spend time with them)…
And you if have a partner that truly loves you, love them back truly everyday.
Share your thoughts
Are there other things we should remember about Love, especially as Valentine’s Day is so close?
I will love to read from you