Meaningful Living

5 Signs That Indicate You Do Not Love Yourself Enough.

Some weeks ago, I was at the hospital visiting a family member that just had a baby and I over heard a nurse telling off a patient for not visiting the hospital as scheduled. No, I was not eavesdropping, it just happened that I passed at the point where the nurse said ‘You have missed two appointments, don’t you love yourself’.

In true phaytea style, I started thinking of possible reasons why the patient missed his doctors appointment twice. Maybe he was out of town or maybe he did not have the means to get to the hospital. I let the thoughts rest only after I decided to share them on the blog.

In my opinion, here are some reasons why we may be seen as not showing love to ourselves enough. The main word here is ‘enough’ because I refuse to believe there are people who do not love themselves at all.


I will like to think that everyone’s utmost goal is to have a meaningful and fulfilling life. This can only happen if we are hale and hearty so in the midst of our busy schedules, we should never miss hospital appointments or scheduled health checks.

Health is the greatest of all possessions; a pale cobbler is better than a sick king – Isaac Bickerstaff

Chasing money and business deals should never come before our health needs. We should show how much we care for ourselves by taking time to notice body changes, never self medicate and attend scheduled health checks.


As we get older, some of the things we learn about our relationship with other individuals include empathy, compassion and selflessness. This is why you find a wife trying to please her husband all the time and vice versa or a guy trying to take on his girlfriend’s excessive responsibilities and vice versa.

Sometimes, it happens amongst platonic friends or family members and you find yourself taking more than you can handle. Agreeing to statements when you have a counter opinion, taking up responsibilities that will obviously hurt your personal goals are just some of the ways in which we just may indirectly be saying ‘our opinion does not count’.

Never be in a situation where you cannot express how you truly feel, never hold back or suppress your thoughts. However, learn how to speak mindfully but NEVER SAY YES WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN NO.

Phaytea's Pulse, Love yourself


I am one of the people who agree that experience teaches the best lesson. I feel the same way about mistakes too. Mistakes not only allow you learn, but you also have an idea of how not to follow a wrong process twice.

Society and social media has put so much pressure on individuals and the strive to act a certain way have led people to make wrong choices. We hustle to have the perfect outfit, perfect smile, perfect composure e.t.c but fail to remember that perfection is a continuous process.

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying – Tony Robbins

In a bid to find perfection, things go wrong most times. Feel free to make mistakes, learn from the lessons and get better. I get excited everytime I figure out a new task after I must have made mistakes. That is exactly how mistakes should affect us; after a bad decision, agree that you need a new method and start again. This shows that you are willing to learn. Beating yourself up never solves any problem.

Related – No: A Dreadful Word?


If everything in the article is not important, let this be the only point you understand. Never give anyone the authority to determine when you should be sad or happy.

Happiness is an inside job. Do not assign anyone else that much power over you. – Mandy Hale


This really is self explanatory. It means not being decisive enough to know what you want, wavering at the thought of criticism or completely giving up on your ability.

Read: Deciding How to Decide

The list is inexhaustible as there are a lot of things we as humans fail to do for ourselves. This goes ahead to seem like we do not love ourselves enough, from self-care to personal development to something as little as having a good laugh….

Feel free to share with me in the comment section .

What is that thing you really need to start doing for yourself at the moment?

What is stopping you from doing it?

Can your reschedule?

I will like to read from you



  • Debs

    I read a book titled ‘Failing Forward’ back then, and I got to understand that mistakes and failures are part of life and our ability to get up and adjust is what makes us a winner.

    And ever since, I embrace my mistakes and pick my lessons from it. Thanks for sharing this, dear

    • Phaytea

      I agree with you Debs. Our ability to learn from our mistakes gives us an advantage in the midst of those who haven’t tried. Thank you for contributing

  • Beth Berger

    One thing I really need to do for myself is to start stream-lining the type of work I take on. I have a few side hustles that I think I should eliminate in order to focus my attentions elsewhere but it’s scary not to have that security blanket. I know I would be happier without them though.

  • Jasmin N

    I should really book an appointment to the dentist. What’s stopping me? Myself & money. I can’t go to the public dentist because I’m dead scared of going to dentist. So I’m going to have to book a private one & it’ll cost me 800-1000€ but I’m going to have to wait until I get back to work so I have enough money to pay it. It’s that expensive because I have two wisdom teeth that needs to be removed & I need to be put in sleep whilst they remove them. So, in August I will make the call. Or my husband does, I might have a panic attack even thinking about making the call… 😀 tricky situation.

    • Phaytea

      Oh Jasmin. I totally understand…. but you’re thinking about it and that’s good. I’m sure you’ll figure how to get it done… Thanks for the interesting comment

  • Karoliina Kazi

    Health is the number one thing for sure! I’m still learning to say no to certain things and not over working – I’ve gotten so much better at it but I still have a long way to go.

  • karilife

    Saying is definitely the hardest. There are people who take things so personally when you’re just trying to manage living without obligations being heaped on you every five seconds!

  • Dreamer Achiever

    Lovely post with excellent tips once again, Phaytea! I should probably focus even more on finding time to take care of myself. I know how to do things but sometimes I’m just too busy to exercise, eat or sleep properly. I’m doing quite okay most time but I think keeping those basics in every day routines is a must. The worst thing for me is when I cannot sleep enough and that ruins 2-5 days after that by giving me extra stress and just making me too tired to do my best. Thanks for the reminder. ❤️

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