Tyler Perry’s Acrimony has been out for a while, but I just got the chance to see it. I watched it in the comfort of my home and I am just glad I was not at the cinema. While watching, I had to pause at different times, process a scene, make comments and I now understand why a lot of people talked about this movie.
Acrimony tells a story about Melinda (Taraji P. Henson) and her college sweetheart. She lost her virginity to him, caught him cheating, lost her chance at having a child in future because of an action she took out of anger, married him, spent most of her life enabling him (he was jobless), divorced him when she could not handle the situation anymore and met her untimely death when she went out to seek revenge because Robert was now rich and his fiance was supposedly ‘living her life’ and getting what should be hers.
Quite a summary yea? Hopefully, that is not so much of a spoiler and you still watch the movie if you haven’t already.
I know a number of people who are tired of analysing this movie but since I only just got bitten by the bug, here are 6 Relationship Lessons From Tyler Perry’s Acrimony:
1. Do You Not Lose Yourself.
I have a problem with the foundation on which Robert and Melinda’s relationship was built. Robert was manipulative and very loving, Melinda was so in love and lost herself. No standard or boundaries guided her and Robert knew this. Melinda stayed away from any voice of reasoning and did not ask to be treated better. She kept enduring, she settled, she managed and kept enabling him. Love is Blind Yea?
Male or female, Always practise self love. Set standards and boundaries, do not settle. Make sure it isn’t a one sided relationship.
2. Create A Balance.
Pursuing your dreams is not an opportunity to make other areas of your life suffer. Robert was only bent on getting a big break from his battery invention but failed to cater to the emotional needs of his wife, he failed to get a job to support his wife, he felt entitled and wanted his wife to always understand his situation.
This is me thinking, if Robert had been painted as the husband that sorts dinner before Melinda gets back from work or even runs her a bath and give massages afterwards, it would have been less difficult for Melinda to believe he was not cheating a second time. One time she was seen telling her colleague that if her husband wasn’t sexually involved with her, then he was getting some from another woman.
Do not be too caught up in your personal development and ignore other aspects of your life.
3. Be Aware Of Your Partner’s Mental Health.
Is your partner always moody? Is your partner quick tempered? Does he or she get violent when angry? Do not leave them that way or plan to manage the situation. Please seek help.
Melinda had grave anger issues and always reacted badly. Her Mum and sisters knew about it but somehow it got swept under the carpet. Robert got a taste of her anger issue when she caught him cheating, he got married to her and adjusted to her temperament. No one thought to seek help or even acknowledge she had a mental illness.
Melinda even knew her capability when triggered and bragged about it.
4. Everyone Deserves A Second Chance.
This might probably be tongue in cheek and will differ in various situations but in this movie, it is clear that Melinda was not open to forgiving Robert.
She believed he had cheated a second time and asked for a divorce. The story might have played out differently is she was open to listening or even giving Robert a second chance.
Sometimes, it is important to listen first before making quick judgment. Especially if the source of information is from a third party that never really supported your relationship. Melinda’s sisters were never supportive of her relationship and were quick to play the ‘I told you so’ card.
5. Communicate With Your Partner.
A lot of relationships suffer because of information that is withheld by one of the partner. Be in eachother’s life, share your routines and update each other on changes.
Robert had coffee with the lady he cheated with while dating Melinda but failed to mention this meet up to his wife or even why they had to meet up. By the time she got a hint of what happened, it was difficult for her to believe her husbands plea.
6. Follow Your Intuition
This is a tricky one, so unless you are very discerning, you may be exposed to a lot of third party opinion.
Melinda admitted she never should have followed through with the divorce. She knew Robert really loved her but she gave in to her sister’s persistent jab. She kicked Robert out of their house and was miserable. She blamed her sisters and kept comparing her new lover to Robert.
By the time she was willing to take him back, he had moved on with another woman. That turned her into the monster she became.
I see a lot of people asking if it’s Melinda or Robert that should be blamed. I think both of them had their fault. When a relationship is one sided for the longest, it is dangerous for the couple. Long suffering with a hardworking partner is way better than managing a partner that will not struggle with you.
Please share your thoughts
Have you watched Acrimony?
I will love to read from you.