My aim with this blog have always been to share content that helps us make mindful choices and so, I have the same aim for every information I take in (including the movies I watch).
I recently watched Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool and even though I am no longer dating, it is giving me all the right lessons about mindful dating and I hope you learn a thing or more from the lessons in this post.
Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool is a romantic comedy that tells a story about Danica’s (Tika Sumpter) quest to find love on the internet, how she got catfished but eventually found love where she was not looking.
Her sister, Tanya (Tiffany Haddish) who got released from jail after 5 years was instrumental to all the comedy scenes, raunchy talk and of course pointing Danica towards the right direction.
If you ask me, I think Tiffany Haddish stole the show in this movie.
The almost two hour movie is everything fun, laughter and definitely an eye opener for anyone still in the dating scene.
No spoilers here guys as you should watch the movie to enjoy the details. It will be worth it, trust me but make sure you kids do not watch.
However, I intend to talk extensively about the dating lessons from Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool. Danica’s story is relatable to a lot of young and successful women who have it hard finding love and finally resort to dating sites to hopefully meet their dream man.
Here are some lessons to take away from the movie:
Dating Lessons From Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool.
1. Online Dating Requires Extra Caution.
The 21st century comes with a lot of blessings, one of which includes technology. With this also came the emergence of social media and dating sites, men and women alike create real and anonymous accounts either for pleasure or for the real deal.
While some people actually find the real deal, others have been defrauded, cat-fished and harmed physically. It is important to note that online dating/blind dates are better with one feet in first. Jumping in with both can be dicey.
Danica threw caution to the wind in this movie and I found myself faulting her actions. By all means, get on social media or dating sites but avoid being desperate or too trusting. Be sceptical, at least have some doubt.
2. Be Meticulous About Investing Emotions.
While dating, we hear things like love is blind, love at first site, we connected immediately e.t.c. While instant connection works for some people, it goes south for others.
Being quick to invest emotions is a dating mistake a lot of us make. We get swept off our feet at just the sound of his/her voice, he/she says the sweetest things and in our head, we build a castle/home together.
Stop it! While dating, be careful about the level of commitment especially while in the early stage. For all we know, the person at the other end could be a fake. Be very aware to know when it’s real.
Again, Danica showed no sign of slowing down with this supposed hunk she met online. She was blind to other potential friendships, he had the sweetest voice, said the right things and she was clearly smitten.
However, the only problem was they had never met in person.
3. Pay Attention To Notice Cat-fishing Signs.
So, you speak with this great guy/girl on a regular but you’ve never seen a picture, no video calls, no visits, you can’t place a face to the voice or name. Run!!!
Visits and dates are cancelled and rescheduled every time, network is always faulty, they seem to good to be true, you hardly get off detailed information about them, they keep traveling but never stop at yours? Run!!!
How do you even go ahead to invest your emotion in a situation like this on. It is definitely a set up for heart break.
Danica missed all these signs because she wasn’t paying attention. His WiFi never worked for video calls, he refused to send pictures and every time he promises to place a video call, it never happens.
Be intentional about your relationships and be aware so that you can notice anomalies. Some things should happen naturally while dating.
4. Do Not Set Standards Based On Someone’s Experience.
Another mistake we make when dating is setting our standard based on other people’s criteria.
My friend has a tall, dark and handsome man so I also want one. My mum got married at 22 so you give your boyfriend an ultimatum. My friends girlfriend speaks French so you want a girl that speaks French too.
Comparing yourself with another person and bringing it into your relationship is so wrong.
No two people or relationships are the same so it is best you create a meaningful relationship that is based on your personal choice and goals.
Danica’s mum told her about a list with turned out to be non-existent, but all along, Danica made a list of qualities she wanted in her dream guy just because her mum had one.
5. All That Glitters Is Not Gold.
We can definitely relate this to a number of things outside relationships. Content is always king and so if you have great packaging but no substance or value, you will be discarded.
While dating, try not to make decisions based on outward appearance. Lean in and figure out if you are compatible, do you have great conversations, do you feel secure and valued?
Danica found out the hard way and luckily she got a chance to make up for her silly mistakes. Her Fortune 500 mystery man was good looking but was not all that, horrible date, horrible conversation, horrible make out session.
You should totally watch this movie to understand why I mentioned horrible three times.
6. The Best Things Do Not Always Come In Fancy Wraps.
What comes to mind is this popular saying- What you are looking for in sokoto (a place in Northern, Nigeria) is right inside your shokoto (your trouser or shorts).
This simply means, what you have been searching for in different places is right next to you but because you are not paying attention, you do not see it.
Sometimes our closest male/female friend is infact our soulmate but because you’re so used to seeing each other, you never really see them as an option. Have you friend zoned anyone?
Again, Danica always stopped to get coffee at this shop and the owner Frank (Omari Hardwick) always gave her a fresh rose along with her coffee everyday. Sweet right?
Guess what, Danica was so engrossed in her mystery boyfriend that she paid no attention to the man who was interested in her, had potentials and also available in person.
7. A Person’s Past Does Not Define Them.
This is another life lesson and not just a dating lesson. Now, we all have past stories we have successfully overcome. Will you remember them? yes. Will the scars show? It might. Should you be judged by your past? No.
As individuals, we overcome situations and strive to do better. For the sole fact that a person tries to be a better version of themselves, they should never be judged.
Danica found out Frank is an ex-convict and went ahead to stay away from him. Literally judging him, despite the fact that it’s been years ago and he had changed into a hardworking gentleman.
An ex-convict was not on her list so she was not having it.
Be open-minded and allow people bloom where they are planted.
8. Second Chances Are Not Guaranteed.
For a fact, not everyone gets lucky with love the first time. If you lose a great guy / lady because of preference and realize later, you may not have the chance to do the right thing.
You do not know what you have until it’s gone, but Danica lost Frank and was able to get him to forgive her. I found myself wanting Frank not to accept her back but I also just wanted to see them together because they had chemistry.
Whenever you make dating decisions, make sure you do it with a clear head. At the end of the day, you should be responsible for your actions and ready to accept the consequences.
People have different experiences when dating and there are no hard or fast rules, but Danica’s character in Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool reminds one of those little things to look out for.
Share your thoughts.
Have you watched Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool?
What Movie have you watched recently?
I will love to read from you