Meaningful Living

30 Effective Ways To Build Your Self Confidence.

While scrolling through my Instagram explore page few days ago, I saw a video of a lady crying and looking at her ring finger.

At first I thought, Oh lovely! She has just been proposed to, so it’s definitely tears of joy.

However, as I watched on, my thoughts began to shift from the former to – Can you be a little bit confident?

Apparently, she’s a single mum and was shocked that her boyfriend had just proposed to her. She also asked repeatedly if he was sure about his decision and reminded him she has a child.

Aren’t single mums deserving of love? This scenario can be interpreted in different ways and while her feelings are valid, it looked like she allowed her shock / lack of self confidence ruin the moment.

Build your self confidence - Phaytea’s pulse

Why was she surprised her boyfriend thought her worthy to be proposed to? We could shift this conversation to self confidence in relationships but no, we will be discussing effective ways to build your self confidence generally.

The case above is just one out of many examples where individuals (men and women) openly undermine themselves because they feel they do not deserve happiness or a second chance.

Asides lack of confidence in relationships and not expecting second chances, lack of self confidence have made a number of people suffer in silence and miss opportunities because they fail to speak up about issues or indicate interest to carry out a project they can very well handle.

Other times, it is because they have failed previously and scared to try again. Some do not even want to try.

According to Wikipedia, self confidence is one’s personal judgement, ability and power. It is a positive belief that one can generally accomplish what one wishes to do.

Self confidence is important for a meaningful life as you need it through out your growth journey. It does not come easy so you have to keep working on your mindset and mastering a positive attitude.

Personally, I have realized that my self confidence has gotten better with time and it is amazing to monitor my growth. I definitely do some of the tips I’ll be sharing below.

Build your self confidence - Phaytea’s pulse

Here are 30 effective ways to build your self confidence

1- Self Acceptance is very important. Love yourself, flaws, insecurities and all. Believe in your ability to be an achiever.

2- Motivate yourself by remembering achievements and challenges won.

3- Equip yourself with relevant skills for the opportunities you need.

  • 4- Clean up nicely. Sometimes, all you need to get the attention you deserve is to dress neatly, smell nice and speak fluently.
  • 5- Read, read and read some more. Be knowledgeable about the places and people you intend to visit. You network better when you can contribute and have /hold meaningful conversations.
  • 6- Know your purpose, worth, standard, values and stand with them. This helps you make better decisions when faced with them.

    7- Create a creative corner or workspace. Fill it with books, playlist and tools that help you stay productive. Have a corner that spurs you to create things you are proud of. E.g Music, writing articles, journaling, baking e.t.c

    8- Work on your communication skills, posture, personality and aura. Do you have exude confidence when you walk into a room? Do you stay by the corner until you are seen? Do you look scared or shy?

    9- Know your strengths and weakness. Portray your strength more and improve on the weaknesses.

    10- Live a healthy lifestyle. For example, Exercise, eat healthy, rest well, do things at your pace. You need to be healthy to be productive.

    Build your self confidence- Phaytea’s pulse

    11- Remind yourself that the only barrier that can discourage you is you.

    12- Sometimes failure reminds you of where you do not want to be. Remind yourself why you should not fail again. Be optimistic.

    13- Avoid awkward situations. Pick the battles you go after and master how to remain calm.

    14- Your circle is pivotal to your growth and to build your self confidence. Surround yourself with people who will help you grow and not bring you down.

    15- Constantly speak positively to yourself. Write out your admirable qualities and avoid negative thoughts.

    16- Leave your comfort zone, try new things, get better and document your experience. The more things you know and experiences you have, the more you are able to share with others and join conversations.

    17- Know / Master basic conversation starters. For example: pay genuine compliments, start conversations as it relates to the environment, prepare an elevator pitch if you do not have one already, how do you introduce yourself in a gathering?

    18- Always have ‘the’ plan and a back plan. This way you are sure of what you need to do.

    19- As much as possible, avoid peer pressure and social anxiety. For example, be sure to avoid pressure from social media.

    20- Start your day on a right note. From gratitude to positive affirmations, these can help you boost your mood and self confidence.

    Build your self confidence- Phaytea’s pulse

    21- Carry out a self audit as often as possible. Laugh at yourself. What have you done well? What needs to change? Are you meeting your goals? Ask thought provoking questions and be truthful. If you can criticize yourself then, it is easier to take correction.

    22- Do NOT compare yourself with anyone. Just work on being a better version of you.

    23- Learn to manage your expectations so that you can handle rejection or disappointment. Dust yourself up and try again.

    24- Find a role model who inspires you and keep talking to him/her about your plans.

    25- Sign up with a public speaking coach. This may seem extreme but it is very important if your line of work includes speaking to an audience (no matter how small). You learn how to hold a microphone, how to capture the attention of your audience e.t.c

    26- Identity those things that make you uncomfortable and either learn or do away with them. For example, do you get shy when you are paid a compliment? Accept compliments and avoid doubt. If cannot walk in heels, wear something more comfortable or learn to walk in them.

    27- Avoid the urge to be perfect. It stops you from starting or moving forward. Seek growth instead.

    28- Know that your past should not determine your present situation. Have you failed before, have you been bullied, were you in a bad relationship? These things have a way of stealing ones confidence. Constantly remind yourself you deserve better and go for the best.

    29- Have your own. From routines to finance and social circle. Avoid being a third wheel or liability.

    30- Be your authentic self always.

    To build your self confidence, you need to know that it starts with loving and accepting yourself as a person.

    You also need to know that self confidence is something you have to keep working on, you need it to evolve into every stage in life.

    Share your thoughts in the comment section

    What are your go to hacks to build your self confidence?

    I will love to read from you


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    • Naijafreshgraduate

      I was very sad while I watched that video. I was just wondering what she’s had to go through in the hands of men to feel that skeptical about something so beautiful. Thanks for these tips.

      • Phaytea

        Same here… it’s definitely something from her past relationship. Thank you for reading ❤️

    • justmuddlingthroughlife

      I have very little confidence. There are things I do that does show confidence, but talking to a group I fall to pieces. Im also very down on myself, always seeing the negatives. Very good, thought provoking post.

      • Phaytea

        I know what you mean. For talking to an audience, it will be a good idea to practice continuously in front of a mirror or allow a public speaking coach walk you through speaking publicly…. especially if it will be useful at work. Thank you for reading. You’re amazing ❤️

          • Phaytea

            Huh? It’s his/her loss. Hope you completed the course for you? It’s a skill you’ll always have once mastered….and it’s useful in and out of work. So nope! Do pick that confidence right back up, master public speaking so well and you’ll always stand out❤️❤️

            • justmuddlingthroughlife

              I haven’t delivered a talk now in about two years, confidence was growing and then shattered.. The thought now of talking to a group really scares me, too many negative comments..too quiet being one of them. Maybe one day I will be able to do it but not now.

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