My husband and I have been married for 3 years now and it is definitely a wonder how time is zooming and not taking a second glance back. Just like that, we are celebrating our 3 years wedding anniversary.
As it is almost a tradition, I have watched videos and looked at pictures to relive the memories, and not to sound cliche or anything, it really feels like yesterday.
1- It is important to have Supportive Parents – In – Law.
Just as you pray for a good partner, it is also important to pray for supportive parents -in- law / family.
You see, we all grew up watching movies like Monster-in-law and even the Nigerian actress Patience Uzokwor (her movie roles) gave us a ‘not so good’ examples of what having parents – in – law might feel like.
If what we see on our screen is anything to go by, we all probably pray not to encounter problematic family members and honestly, it should be a genuine one.
The mundane things we see represented in movies really play out in some homes and often times lead to a break up or worse.
So, while being married for three years, I have come to realize the importance of having parents- in-laws that are supportive of your dream as a couple and even as individuals.
The peace you get cannot be over emphasized and even though I cannot really remember praying for awesome parents -in – law, God blessed me with what I did not know was important.
Thankful for me, mine and our parents.
2- Have an Opinion, but be Teachable.
Growing up in different homes mean growing up with different ideologies and no matter how ‘exposed’ we have all become, we cannot know it all.
It is important to go into marriage with an open mind and a teachable heart. An open mind because you will experience things you are not used to, and a teachable heart because it means you are receptive to learning.
Not being teachable is a huge threat and can cause arguments that could have been avoided. It actually takes team work, one must be willing to teach and the other must be willing to learn.
3- Have your ‘own’.
I am all for doing things together like Siamese twins and all that beautiful stuff, but I am also for having time for yourself and doing things for yourself.
Have activities that build you, have your friends, have a means of income, have your ‘me time’, have your space, have your time to rejuvenate.
A number of people misconstrue the need to have you ‘own’, but it is one of the key things to make a relationship thrive and achieve individual happiness.
What happens to you in the absence of your partner? Do you become clueless and have no means to function? Who are you outside being a husband, wife or parent? Are you confident enough to allow your spouse run the home front in your absence?
Since you cannot pour from an empty cup, having your own reminds you to fill up yourself, take care of yourself, pursue your growth and be rejuvenated.
No, it is not selfish. Instead,
- It helps you be better so that you can serve each other better.
- It helps you have new experiences to share with each other.
- It helps you create a balance as individuals and as a couple.
- It helps you both appreciate your different values and skills.
Relationships in general teach you these lessons too, but until you are a ‘live in’ couple, you do not really get to experience the whole package of knowing another individual.
Share your thoughts in the comment section.
What lessons have you learnt while in a relationship?
I will love to read from you.