On Noticing Behavioural Changes and Instinct.

When was the last time you listened to your instinct?

Overtime, I have learnt to pay close attention to my mine.

For instance, I have always been able to premeditate an event before it occurs…thanks to my habit of wanting to ‘think things through’. Some people call it worrying but I call it healthy anticipation. 

I have also been able to make the best decisions just by following my instinct. It is not always 100% correct but to an extent, it never gets me into trouble.

However, sometimes I just ignore paying attention to my instincts and go about daily activities. This behaviour is absolutely normal as one cannot be perfect all the time.

Since the sad incident in August, I have started monitoring my thoughts and mind voices closely again. I try not to take my thoughts for granted and always follow up with my feelings.

For me, paying close attention to my instincts help me live meaningfully but it is definitely not the easiest thing to keep up with. Sometimes, I carelessly throw caution to the wind and the past three days has been one of such times.

Now the problem is, three days in a row I had to confront a different person (for reasons that weren’t mine) which leaves me really angry. At the end of the day, i feel bad and try to make peace with myself through prayers. 

Note: Prayers help only when you realise you have gone off track and want to retrace your steps. 

I am usually receptive to ‘people’s nonsense’, i can tactfully ignore people when they misbehave and refrain from ‘talking back’. For anyone like me who always has a response to everything, you must know how difficult it is to bridle your tongue when you really just want to go from zero to hundred real quick.

However, having to call people out immediately and ‘loosing my cool’ three days in a row just felt abnormal and my instincts would not just let me be. 

I certainly had to do some soul searching. I knew there was something more to it. Then the questions began:

Why was I suddenly becoming quick to speak?

Why was i quick to react to everything that did not go down well with me?

Why was i not afraid to speak my mind even if it hurt the other person? (Regardless of the fact that the other person hurt me first).

Like every human, I tried to justify my reason for ‘putting people in their place’, but my instincts did not give me the justification I really wanted.

As if in agreement with my mind voices, my devotional for Friday and Saturday talked about bridling the tongue and I just knew I had to do something about my recent outburst.

Friday the 13th talked about how to put your tongue to positive use and I only saw it during my night devotion. So i am thinking, If I had read my devotional in the morning, maybe things would not have gone down south.

Tsk…Tsk…..When your devotional hints at the need to ‘bridle your tongue’ twice in the three days that you have fallen short, what other cue do you need to retrace your steps?

Apparently, that was the cue I needed to call myself to order. The ability to listen to my instincts helped my notice behavioural change and made me more conscious about my actions.

I may have a thousand and one reasons why I should not tolerate anyone’s bad behaviour but should that mean I have a free pass to behave badly as well?

I am sharing this personal experience to let you know that your mind voices can really help you stay away from any impending trouble.

The intention is not to sound spiritual or anything but I feel like listening to your instincts is so important. It helps you have a much needed conversation with yourself.

You can decide to be conscious about your actions, you can pray about the way you feel and you can ask for help if you need to.

For the sake of knowing how to retrace your steps after you notice there’s been a (not so good) change in your behaviour , I will share some of the things I had to recognise that enabled me be in control again.

• You need to be aware of your actions.

This can only be easy when you already live intentionally. Living intentionally involves doing things by consciously deciding to do them. Here, there is no room for impulse. If you live intentionally then you can be held accountable for your actions. 

• You need to realise when you are wrong/identify the changes.

It is so important to notice when you start walking out of line. Once you can criticise your actions and agree that you are wrong, you are one step closer to gaining the liberation you need.

• Be aware of certain clues.

Just like it gets cloudy before it rains, I feel like nature has a way of dropping signs that we can only understand if we pay close attention.

Be conscious of your environment, notice hints that are reoccurring. It might just be the sign you need to cross your T’s and dot your I’s.

• You need to be ready to change.

Decide what to do with the signs you notice. Do you want to change? Do you want to start living intentionally again? Do you want retrace your steps? Do you want to be responsible for your actions?

All these are personal decisions and if you feel you need to tweak a little, by all means do so.

• Find someone to share your experience with.

Get help if you feel you need to be counselled. Talk to someone you trust about your new behaviour and the signs that you think you have noticed.

• Start to live intentionally again

I will just like to say that living intentionally is a continuous process. You will not get it right all the time. People will annoy you, they will intentionally strike nerves that hurt, your plans will not always go as expected, as a human being you might be confrontational but always know that retracing your steps when you run go off the track is more important.

Notice that I did not beat myself up?

The truth is, the way to realise you have grown is when you can call yourself out, notice behavioural changes that should be discontinued and then find ways that will help you become a better person.

I hope to start living intentionally again and gain control of my actions.

Remember, you are only as good as your last behaviour.

Share your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this.

Do you listen to your instinct? 

How much does your instinct help with decision making?

How do you get back on track when you notice there’s been a change in your behaviour?

I always love to read from you